Jan 06 , 2014

Goals for the Good of Me

Here's the thing about goals: they hurt my feelings.  Something about highlighting all of my shortcomings at the start of a new year sucks. But, like a good girl, I dust myself off and readily resolve to fix every.single.one.  I make sweeping proclamations like I am going to win mother of the year and be the perfect wife and I won't even burn the rice once. Which is followed by 86 bullet points, including, be more patient, yell less, be less confrontational, let more things slide, be a better listener, etc. Then, ultimately, I fall short on every.single.one.  And by February I find myself feeling like a frustrated failure with hurt feelings. And that really sucks. The alternative, however, is to never identify my weaknesses, remain stagnant and eat lots and lots of crunchy rice.  And, well, that's just worse.  So, I continue dusting myself off and try to work out ways to make my weaknesses whole.  Only now, I'm doing it differently. Instead of focusing on my failures, I am making a goal to concentrate on the good.  Each night before bed, I will identify at least one moment in my day where I was a good mother.  Or where it felt good to be a mother.  Because, lets be honest, the joy in motherhood rarely manifests itself in the day-to-day and the week-to-week...the joy of motherhood is found in little fleeting precious moments.  And that is where I am choosing to keep my focus.  The happy parts.  The confident parts.  The magical, sparkling parts.  A nightly reminder that I like this ever so important job, and more so, that I like the people I am doing it for. Additionally, I am going to ensure I hug each little head and smooch on my husband daily. It's a little shocking, but somehow I can go days without ever touching my children. In the whole being busy and constantly in and out of the car and having a baby perma-connected to my kneecaps....I fail to tousle the hair on my sons head or squeeze my daughter's hand.  And yet I manage to never miss telling them to make their bed or turn off the TV.  So, in my new resolute quest to focus on the happy parts of motherhood, I am going to squeeze the heck out of my four little beasts. Every day. The happy parts.  That's my resolution.  What's yours?

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